Photo above taken by article author Kristin Solis; surf sequence below courtesy of Nyoss; all remaining photos by Mike.
You see them at the beach all tanned and gorgeous; their toned arms carrying boards as the breeze blows at their rough sun-bleached surfer hair. Their lean athletic bodies look so sexy, natural, and daring, especially when you see them ripping at the waves and bravely charging sets and barrels.
Not to mention the lifestyle they lead: nature-loving travelers who are always up for the next adventure or off to the best surf locations, enjoying such carefree and fun lives.
Who wouldn’t be attracted to these laid-back risky specimens? They’re easy-going all right, but there’s a lot more to dating them.
I hope you’re not the clingy type because for these sea-loving creatures surfing will often if not always be first and relationships second. I also hope you don’t mind sharing because you will have to share your dude with the sport about 70-30. You being the 30. If you can swallow that bitter truth then you’ll be fine.
Don’t expect date nights or holidays elsewhere when there’s a swell because this is pretty much all they think about, eat, and prepare for like it’s the last swell before the world ends.
And wait until he gets a new surfboard and it'll be the most important thing in his life. You may even come home to it lying on your bed.
Speaking of sharing your guy, well, I hope you love the water too because you will be spending a whole lot of time in it. If he's not surfing, he's either fishing, snorkeling, diving or swimming and he will want you to come along.
So if you’re scared of the ocean or of wearing swimwear or of something silly like getting dark, this may not be an ideal relationship because even if you’re not in the water, you would still definitely be somewhere near it.
Have you seen a shirtless dude pacing up and down complaining constantly about how “shitty” the waves have been, or one that’s helplessly staring off into the flat sea or at the forecasts online? That’s a surfer that hasn’t gone in the water for a couple of days.
You have to know and accept that they are a different breed of sportsmen. They are not your usual athletes that would be satisfied with an hour game of b-ball or a round of golf a few days a week. No. These guys have to surf A LOT because if they don’t, they get antsy. They get crabby enough you want to throw them into the water yourself!
You do know that these guys surf for hours right? Not just 2 or 3, we’re talking about 5,6,7 hours in a day, often doing a couple or more sessions!
Don’t worry, you will still see him -- when he comes in to eat or have a beer break in between sessions.
I hope you are cool with that and of being left at the beach alone, sometimes until past sundown when everybody else had gone home. And as you look up at the moon, you start thinking of every possible scary scenario that could have happened to your guy: perhaps he’s drowned and is floating off somewhere in the ocean or he’s been eaten by a shark…
And when you ask him later why he got in so late, he snaps back, “What do you mean? There’s still lots of other guys out there!”
I hope you won’t mind waking up alone because your guy has already gone out to 'dawn patrol'.
Nor would you mind the constant surf texts between him and his buddies.
How about getting asked to drive down the beach to bring his other board because the one he’s using snapped?
And need I mention how irritable they get if you as much as blink when they’re hurrying to get to the surf?
Oh and it doesn’t get any easier and this is no exaggeration. These creatures live and breathe the surf. They dream about it too! They talk about the surf before and after surfing. Even at parties, they watch surf videos or photos -- endlessly.
You like taking photos? I hope so because you’ll be taking lots of your man surfing.
This is a possible perk unless you hate being on the motorbike or stuck in a car for hours as your dude goes on a wave hunt across the island or perhaps the continent.
I sure hope you like learning languages because you will want to add surfer lingo into your repertoire. I tell you these guys barf and fart surf talk all day: “solid 6-8 foot, double - triple overhead, clean and glassy, onshore - offshore, wind directions, tides, sets, pumping, barreling, perfect tubes..…”
It’s like a Bill and Ted conversation, on repeat. You have to learn the language and everything associated with surfing if you want to understand him (and his buddies) and prevent yourself from wanting to slit your throat.
You may also want to know that surfers suffer from a version of ‘tunnel vision syndrome’ caused by online surf reports. This is when your guy is religiously reading forecasts and reports like they're some sacred scripture, totally hypnotized, oblivious to the world. There could be an earthquake or a tsunami and he'd be uninterested. Maybe more to the latter because he'll consider surfing it. Crazy. But anyway, the point is, nothing can distract their intense concentration from what surfline or magicseaweed has to say.
I hope you aren't squeamish at the sight of blood and injury since reef cuts, wounds, ear and staph infections, and various bodily injuries will all be part of his daily fun. You do know that surfing is a dangerous and high-risk sport, right?
I also hope you can bear watching your guy go out on 10-15-20 foot roaring days while you sit helplessly on the shore with your heart beating louder than the crashing waves, and all you can do is hope and pray he will come out ALIVE.
Mike would rather face this than the dishes.
Despite all that I’ve mentioned above, it really isn’t that bad. Dating guys who surf can be fun, invigorating, and exciting. They’re sexy because of their athleticism and the dangers involved in the sport. Here, you have guys that are highly passionate, driven, and often with a deep love for the sea and nature. They’re easy-going and relaxed at their best, as well as being quite low-maintenance (they pretty much live in boardies).
It must be said though that surfers revolve their lives around the sport. Their choices of residence, jobs, living conditions, and holiday plans are greatly influenced by the “surf.” So, if you have the tolerance and strength to endure all these and not mind taking a back-seat to their obsession, I mean passion, then go ahead and date one.
Educate yourself on surfing, learn first aid, bring a good book, and keep your patience. Better yet, if you can, learn to surf. This way, dating this crazy breed of guys will be a more fun and less painful experience for you!
So, Mike couldn't take my article sitting down and wrote a hilarious response based on a surfer's POV. Read it HERE.